snapshots of 2010

A lot of eating, loving, livin' and saying goodbye.

Happy Fun Time Cookies

They are called 'Vanishing Oatmeal Raisin Cookies' and you can find the recipe under the lid of a carton of Quaker Oats. You can also find the recipe on their website under the same name, however on the interweb some of the proportions as well as the baking time differ. This being said, I wish I had checked online first and had used that recipe instead... BUT i didn't. I used the one under the lid and made some slight "modifications":

Ingredients
1 cup green butter*, softened
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
3 cups Quaker® Oats (quick or old fashioned, uncooked)
1 cup of Trader Joe's Golden Berry Blend (golden raisins, cherries, cranberries & blueberries)

Heat oven to 350°F.

In large bowl, beat butter and sugars.

Add eggs and vanilla; beat well.

Add combined flour, baking soda, cinnamon and salt; mix well.

Add oats and raisins; mix well.
Drop rounded tablespoonfuls onto Silpat lined cookie sheet.
Bake 10-12 minutes or until light golden brown. (the website version of the recipe suggested baking time: 8-10 minutes )

Yields 4 Dozen

*3 sticks of unsalted butter, 1 1/2 cups of shake&leaves heated over very low heat for 4-5 hours, strained and cooled. The best recipe I found regarding the infusion process suggested using a 50/50 ratio of shake to butter in a crock-pot on low heat. I don't own one so I used very low stove heat and residual oven heat for the extraction. At all cost avoid cooking the shake OR bringing the butter to a boil. Doing so would ruin the finished product.

For the record calling these cookies 'vanishing' is not just clever marketing on the part of Quaker. They are incredibly satisfying. I had 3 and wanted more BUT had to stop myself because of the green butter. This is why I mention earlier maybe using the online version of the recipe that calls for less butter. That way you can enjoy more than 3 of these tasty cookies at a time without passing out.

Rolled Magazine Trash Basket

The idea for this basket came from Mark Montano's "Big ASS book of crafts" (pgs. 280-281). You can also find a thread on crafters.org with pictures and some vague instructions on a variation of Montano's idea. One major problem I find with some of these crafting blogs is HOW reticent people are to divulge the details of how they made the craft. If you don't want people to be inspired by your idea, then why the hell post it on the InterWeb in the first place?

What you will need:

• ~3 magazines
• a hot glue gun & glue
• Scissors
• a pencil and 1 large marker
• Mod Podge:hard coat
• Elmer's glue
• Krylon Color Creations Crystal Clear Top Coat
• A LOT OF FREE TIME

After tearing the pages out of the magazines; I found the glossy pages of old fashion magazines worked best, I folded them length wise in half and cut. Note: monochrome pages yield best uniform results. The lengthwise halves (roughly 11x4) are either folded OR rolled around a pencil depending on what part of the project you are working on.

FOR THE BASE:

Half pages are folded evenly lengthwise into strips about half inch by ~11 inches then coiled and glued together.

*Mark recommends you roll all the strips of paper, even the ones used for the base. I find that the process saves time, but it's not as uniform and neat looking.

FOR THE BASKET:

Roll the strip of paper diagonally starting at one corner around a pencil so they look like a straw. Secure the straw with a drop of glue. Flatten and roll around a pencil, marker, your finger or whatever cylindrical item to achieve the desired circumference. Secure the finshed roll with another drop of glue. I used hot glue. Make hundreds of them.
(< it's Molly! That Ham.)

Heat up your trusty glue gun and start gluing the rings onto the base. Mark Montano suggests to use a bowl/container as a guide and to glue the rings to each other first, THEN attach the base at the end. I opted to start gluing the rounds to the base from the beginning. I do recommend using a trash can or container as a guide to keep the dimensions in check. If you are free handing the construction you may find the bowl extending outwards too much. Once done, Mark recommends using Elmer's glue to reinforce the connection points through-out the basket. It is a timely process but a very wise step. Mod Podge will work great to harden the basket, but it will only minimally reinforce the meeting points. After letting the Elmer's glue dry, I brushed on a coat of the Mod Podge:hard coat, which made the basket firm and sturdy but left it with a matte finish. I am waiting for the Mod Podge to fully cure [4 weeks] before brushing on the clear top coat. This is an extremely time consuming project. It took me about a month to get it all done.

How to carry on a CONVERSATION

by Grace Stuart Nutley, Ph.D

published: by Sterling Publishing Co.

Reprinted 1966

"If you are a woman, take care in your conversation with men not to add proof to the witticism: 'Men may begin with a speaking acquaintance with a young lady, but usually they end up with a listening acquaintance.' Don't talk too much. Men like to talk too!"

indecisive cupcakes

Astrology has long been regarded as an exact science. For generations mankind has gazed into the heavens to tell us whether or not that dude we are bangin' is gonna be our life-mate, or whether today is a good day to buy that car. It is because of the power of the cosmos that we know so much about our selves and each other. Take a Libra for example:

{courtesy of Cafe Astrology} "...Libra natives are generally thought to be sociable, somewhat intellectual souls. They have an almost innocent way about them that makes them very approachable... Libra's enjoy balance in their lives... have a reputation for untruthfulness.... Some more powerful signs may consider Libra's a little on the weak side...Libra's are known for comparing and thinking in relative terms, instead of in absolutes... Harmony is the ultimate goal, but their idealism and high expectations can mean plenty of discontent... A Libra comes across as very civilized and rather refined..."

Truthfully, I don't believe this hokum. It's human nature to want to assign order and meaning to life and things but the universe is not always fair. Good things happen to bad people, innocent children die and good people suffer all the time. Some people are assholes because their mommy did not love them enough, some hate women because some pretty girl rejected them in grade school. It's not altogether random or predestined, rather a finely woven tapestry of cause and effect that all of mankind is intricately involved in. For every predicted astrological characteristic, a logical justification can be parallelled to discredit these mystical celestial predictions.

****

BUT I digress, this was supposed to be about cupcakes-Birthday cupcakes for an indecisive Libra. So what should I bake for the bitchiest broad (ME) who does not know what she wants??? A little of everything! I got the idea for Neapolitan Cupcakes from one of my favorite baking websites: cupcake rehab. I am glad I did not make these chocolate&vanilla w/strawberry frosting cupcakes for somebody else first because they are lackluster. I followed the recipe to the letter(or so I think) but my finished product was not as tasty as I had envisioned.

*NOTE*

Baking while under the influence is not always a good idea Amy Sedaris!

Why, you ask? Well, I may have doubled the salt on the Vanilla recipe because they ended up tasting like cornbread. And I over baked both batches which made the cupcakes a little dry. Okay, A LOT dry. Also, I may have misread the proportions of flour and sugar because for some reason these cupcakes were not sweet at all. However, thankfully the frosting was, which definitely helps makes these cuppies barely edible.

BLACK-N-WHITE Cupcakes

(courtesy of Cupcake Rehab)

Ingredients:
Vanilla:
8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature, plus more for pan
1 ¾ cups all-purpose flour (spooned and leveled), plus more for pan
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
¾ cup sugar
2 large eggs, room temperature
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
½ cup whole milk
Chocolate:
8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature, plus more for pan
1 ¼ cups all-purpose flour (spooned and leveled), plus more for pan
½ cup cocoa powder
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
¾ cup sugar
2 large eggs, room temperature
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
½ cup whole milk

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt (and chocolate powder for the chocolate cupcakes); set aside.
With an electric mixer, beat butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition; add vanilla, and mix until combined. On low speed, beat in half the flour mixture, followed by milk; end with remaining flour mixture. Mix just until incorporated (do not over mix).
Fill muffin cups with 3 tablespoons of each batter, side by side.. Bake until a toothpick inserted in center of a cupcake comes out clean, 22 to 24 minutes. Cool cupcakes in pan, 5 minutes; transfer to a wire rack to cool completely

Sprinkles' Strawberry Frosting

(courtesy of Martha Stewart)

1/2 cup whole frozen strawberries, thawed
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, firm and slightly cold
Pinch of coarse salt
3 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar, sifted
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Directions:
Place strawberries in the bowl of a small food processor; process until pureed. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat together butter and salt on medium speed until light and fluffy. Reduce mixer speed and slowly add confectioners' sugar; beat until well combined. Add vanilla and 3 tablespoons strawberry puree (save any remaining strawberry puree for another use); mix until just blended. Do not over mix or frosting will incorporate too much air. Frosting consistency should be dense and creamy, like ice cream.

***

I don't have a food processor NOR do I have a mixer with a paddle attachment. I used a blender on low speed to puree the strawberries and a regular mixer to breakdown the butter.

TAKEAWAY from this recipe. TOO MUCH BUTTER. I had leftover frosting, AGAIN. The taste is awesome, but in the future I will use more strawberries less butter and less sugar.

Merry Un-Birfdee, Every-body!

rock it til the wheels fall off

mic·tu·rate
Pronunciation: \ˈmik-chə-ˌrāt, ˈmik-tə-\
Function: intransitive verb
Etymology: Latin micturire to desire to urinate, from meiere to urinate; akin to Old English mīgan to urinate, Greek omeichein
Inflected Forms: mic·tu·rat·ed, mic·tu·rat·ing
Date: 1842
— mic·tu·ri·tion\-\ noun

"I just want to understand this Sir. Every time a rug is micturated upon in this fair city, I have to compensate the person?"

Margarita is Spanish for Marge

never mind that dent in the cupcake on the left. It got smushed ;D

After the Car Bombs, I got a cupcake bug up my ass. But not just any ordinary kind of bug, an alcoholic bug. Er-go: Margarita Cupcakes. I am not wild about margaritas in general. Something about the tequila makes me violently ill but I found a shit-ton of recipes for them so I decided to give it a go.

One recipe in particular that caught my eye is from the book, "Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World: 75 Dairy-Free Recipes for Cupcakes that Rule". I will definitely try that one next with all the left over tequila I have. That funny looking EVOO gnome had a good recipe too, but it contained too many ingredients. Not too many steps, just too much stuff. I settled on one I found on [bigcitycooking.blogspot.com]. I changed a couple of things and did not follow the frosting recipe. It called for cream cheese AND butter and I am already not a huge fan of cream cheese UNLESS it involves lox and bagels.

CUPCAKES
2 cups All Purpose flour
2 tbsp milk
1 tbsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
12 tbsp unsalted butter, room temperature
1 1/2 cups of sugar
1 tbsp vanilla extract
3/4 cup of Rose's West India Sweetened Lime Juice
5 egg whites, room temperature

Preheat oven to 350F .

In a medium bowl sift together the dry ingredients: flour, baking powder, salt.

In another bowl beat together butter and sugar until light and creamy. Beat in vanilla, milk and the lime juice. Reduce speed and mix in flour mixture until completely combined.

In a separate bowl, with clean dry beaters, whip egg whites on high until they form stiff peaks. Using a spatula fold egg whites into the batter until just combined.

Pour the batter into the cupcake pans and bake 20-22 minutes or until an item (knife, tooth pick)inserted comes out clean.

FROSTING
1 stick of butter
2 cups confectioners sugar
1 tablespoon of lime juice
2 tablespoons of Tequila (okay 3)
Lemon zest
1 drop yellow food coloring (Rachael Ray says green, I say yeah, it should be green but I want yellow)
Sea Salt (most of the recipes call for sugar crystals or coarse sugar, but I am with Big City on this one, Coarse Salt is the way to go. The combination of sweet, sour and salty will astound you)

You can find any number of frosting recipes out there. Some are more complicated but if you want to keep it simple, the basic combination will always be butter and confectioner sugar. You beat those ingredients add the lime juice and tequila. Add the lemon zest and food coloring if you want. As a garnish I added the coarse salt BUT not on all of them. Some people may not be into trying the salt so I placed it on the side.

I really liked the cupcakes. They were light and fluffy and very flavorful. And although all the people that tried these cupcakes did not think so; I found the frosting a little off. Maybe it was the use of cheap tequila??? No se.

What I do know is that the booze cupcake flood gates are wide open. What's next? Rum & Coke? White Russian? Pina Colada? What say you fish tank?

Crema de Almendrado

Next time you are in Mexico, do yourself a favor and pick up a bottle; shit get two! You wont regret it. You can't get this in the states.