Census fever has come and gone but the issue of racism lingers like a malignant cancer.
When the census packets first started arriving in homes the local media paraded our [Los Angeles] midget mayor in a census propaganda fluff piece declaring us [Latinos] as white. The anger and outrage I felt was not fit for words. Needless to say, the census form still sits on my coffee table covered in food grease, beer and coffee rings. I tried to think back to some collegiate anthropological course that I took years ago that discussed the origins of man. I desperately searched my drug addled memory for some semblance of a factual truth regarding race but sadly the only thing I could squeeze from my pickled brain was some quasi knowledge of history. I KNOW for a fact that I am not white because my ancestors have been here on this patch of land long before the Mayflower or even Columbus. Plus I own a mirror.
I asked around to see what my contemporaries {other Latinos} would be doing about this grave injustice. Most people found my outrage ridiculous and welcomed the idea of being considered white and gladly claimed that as their race on the census. Others confronted the ludicrous implication of Aryan inclinations by claiming to be black. And while that is funny, and probably more accurate, I'd rather not partake in this ridiculous exercise of false self identification. Its offensive to me to assume that I have anything in common with the cultural heritage bred of entitlement. Sure I went to college, have indoor plumbing and the right to vote but I am reminded constantly that I am not welcomed in certain circles.
We were at the bar when my heavy handed humor got the best of me. It may have been a little presumptuous of me to imply that I would be attending a Klan meeting now that I was 'white'. The white people in the bar stools next to mine became visibly uncomfortable. Uncomfortable with WHAT is unclear. It could have been with my racist rant or maybe the idea of a darkie crashing their exclusive Klan meeting put them on edge. Whatever it was, It was clear my money was no longer green enough so I left.
At first I thought that their discomfort came from the "white-shame" That they did not like to be reminded of their history of hate and oppression. Then Arizona happened and I realized that the whites are just as racist as ever. For all we know that stupid "we are all white" census stunt pushed them over the edge. Perhaps the idea of welcoming us to the fold sent them into frothing at the mouth rage that obviously caused them to revisit and dust off some ol' Jim Crow justice. I say to all my brothers and sisters in Arizona when the cops stop you and ask you for your passport you tell them that you are white and that there must be some kind of mistake. Then ask them for their passport.
